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Attachments with others are a fundamental part of who we are as a species and our relationships can be one of the most rewarding parts of our lives. But, they can also lead to some of our most miserable experiences as the struggles within the relationship can rob us of the happiness they used to bring. There is no doubt about it…relationships are hard! But why is that? Are we expecting too much? Too little? Can trust be rebuilt or is it lost? Have arguments become a battle to win? Many of the issues that couples face have no clear cause at first glance, but instead have an underlying issue that must be addressed. 

For most couples, the decision to try couples counselling is not an easy one. It is hard to acknowledge that things aren’t as “perfect” as we had hoped or expected them to be. It takes courage to recognize our difficulties and face them. But, research has shown that the longer couples wait before seeking assistance in their relationship, the harder it will be to resolve hurt feelings and resentments, and to change unhealthy patterns of interacting. Even the best relationships take work, and maybe you want to be proactive and discuss areas of strain before they deteriorate further.   

Couples therapy can be an opportunity to build a path forward that is mutually beneficial and built on trust, especially after difficult periods.  Counselling can help a couple develop stronger relationship skills that will help support a more effective means of navigating conflict. With everyone becoming more aware of their respective patterns of communication and behaviour, and how they each contribute to create misunderstanding or conflict in the relationship.

What are some signs that couples therapy might be right for you?

Sometimes it’s clear that there are problems in our relationship.  Other times, issues are hidden and simmering beneath the surface. If you find that your relationship is struggling with any of the concerns listed, it may be worth considering speaking with a therapist.

  • You or your partner regularly feel unheard or misunderstood, and you are unable to communicate without one or both of you becoming defensive

  • There is an inability to compromise (one of you seems to get their way more often)

  • There is a lack of trust and you do not feel like you can confide in your partner

  • Perhaps, you often wonder what it would be like to be in another relationship or one of you is actively engaging in an affair

  • There are struggles with intimacy and you feel more like roommates than a couple

  • You argue about the same issues with no apparent resolution and there is an unwillingness/inability to have an open-minded conversation

  • Passive aggressive interactions; avoiding conversations with your partner; or physically avoiding your partner

  • You are going through or want to prepare for a major life transition; such as marriage, having a child, change of career, empty nesters, and retirement

  • A change in values and an inability to express your needs

  • Financial differences

  • Premarital Counselling

  • Separation and Divorce

  • Blended Family concerns

  • Parenting Support

  • Domestic Violence

  • Regular arguing that may or may not include name-calling, criticizing, and belittling

How can couples counselling help?
We will help you to:

  • Overcome lingering resentments

  • Develop clearer communication patterns

  • Build a more intimate connection on both a physical and emotional level

  • Build greater trust

  • Determine mutual goals

  • Learn how to fight fair

  • Better understand the repeating patterns in your relationship that are getting in the way and sabotaging your relationship

  • Learn how to support one another

  • Navigate through perpetual problems

  • Create healthy boundaries

  • Evaluate what is and isn’t working and find what does

  • …and much more!

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